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About Me Official Beta Tester General Writer Christina Marie Ellis20/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
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Into the Fire

Rain + cold

Journal Entry: Mon Feb 2, 2009, 12:13 PM
I love cold, rainy days. As I just told my friend Trey, days like this are the cocoa/pajamas/movies kind of days. Normally I'm in a great mood on days like this, but today that's not the case.

I don't know what's going on, but lately I've been really...down. I may laugh and joke and have a good time when I'm hanging out with a group of my friends, but the truth is that I've been pretty depressed for a while now. I think I know why (for the most part), but understanding it and telling myself that it isn't rational to feel this way isn't making it go away.

I don't usually tell people when I'm feeling like this, and most people aren't perceptive enough to pick up on it. I don't like it when people try to cheer me up because it usually doesn't work (although I appreciate the intentions). It often has the opposite affect, actually, because it makes me more depressed when I realize that I'm so messed up that my amazing, hilarious, awesome friends can't even make me feel better.

Sometimes I try to listen to music to lift my spirits, but I usually end up skipping over the peppy, upbeat songs on my playlist and listening to nothing but songs that make me feel more depressed for whatever reason.

I do this pretty regularly throughout the year. I've researched seasonal depression (yes, there is such a thing) a little bit, and I think maybe that might be the problem. The thing is, I'd rather feel depressed than be on medication and feel nothing at all. I dunno. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm just grumpy. Either way, I don't like it. :(

Thanks for listening...

  • Mood: Gloomy
  • Listening to: The rain
  • Reading: Washington Irving
  • Drinking: Coffee

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: United States
  • Interests: Friends, Music, Literature, Art, People, Movies, Dreams, Culture, Life
  • Favourite movie: Atonement (it was actually as good as the book!), The Invisible, The Garden State
  • Favourite band or musician: Whatever I'm in the mood for
  • Favourite genre of music: I listen to a little bit of everything, but I don't like country or rap
  • Favourite poet or writer: Kate Chopin-Diablo Cody-Ian McEwan-Frank O'Connor-Orson Scott Card-Stephenie Meyer...
  • MP3 player of choice: Microsoft Zune!
  • Favourite game: Final Fantasy VII-Crisis Core, Katamari Damacy, and Mao although it's a card game
  • Favourite cartoon character: Strong Bad from www.homestarrunner.com
  • Tools of the Trade: For writing-A mind, a laptop, and an occasional notepad; For visual art- PSCS2 and traditional tools

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Comments


hey, thanks for the add!
your stuff is awesome, i'll watch back :)

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i knew you were dead when you opened your eyes.
Thank you!

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We are the only ones we are running from...


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you're welcome!

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i knew you were dead when you opened your eyes.
thanks for the watch :D

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I've seen the truth.... It doesn't make sense :O_o:
You're quite welcome! :D

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We are the only ones we are running from...


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LOL I AM SO LAME AND LATE

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Must you spoil my fun by being logical?
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Your all nuts, I salute you!:salute:
No way, my lovely!

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We are the only ones we are running from...


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Thanks a bunch for the watch!

I enjoyed reading some of your writings - you have a beautiful way of communicating the interior life that many of us falter at putting into words, much less understanding.
Oh, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Your work is phenomenal, by the way. Beautiful!

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We are the only ones we are running from...


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